The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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