I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
