Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
