Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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