You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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