To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
