I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize