Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
