he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.