You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.