how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
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you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
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Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together