All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.