can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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