I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
