didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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