She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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