I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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