And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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