You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
