I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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