friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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