Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
