brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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