Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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