Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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