Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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