If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
