how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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