flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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