Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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