the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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