haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
