I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
