ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
