so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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