I'm jealous of your bromance
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
