I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
