My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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