The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
