I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
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The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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