Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
