You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize