Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My first STD was from a foam party
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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