Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
