Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
