we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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