He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
