D3 body, D1 cock
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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