ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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