the condom got lost in my hair
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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