i think my tv is drunk
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
