you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
