shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
