This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
