RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
