God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
