My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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