If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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