When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
