someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
