i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
